Chaston

Chaston is one of my classmates.  He has always been extremely nice to me, and I have always liked him because of that. A little while ago was his birthday. He celebrated tonight. I was invited to the party but debated for days as to weather or not I was going to go.  You see, the majority of the time I feel like I don't fit in with my classmates. Maybe it is because I am so overweight, and that makes me really insecure when I shouldn't be, but I digress.  I feel that everyone has their clicks, and all the cool kids hang out and do stuff, and then there is me.  Don't get me wrong, I have made some really awesome friends, but I frequently feel left out. Admittedly, It may be partially my fault.  I am sure I have been invited to other events, but either decided not to go, or really couldn't go. Who keeps inviting the person who never shows up. A perfect example, I was invited to Virginia's birthday party last night but didn't go because I was studying.

Well tonight was different. I didn't know a LOT of people there, but I still had a great time.  I talked, I danced, I played flip cup with people I thought REALLY didn't like me (which I am totally amazing at btw), and It was nice.

I talked to several people who told me it was nice to finally see me out, Becca I never go out with anyone.  I met some of my upper-classmates, and continued talking to one of the few upper class-men that I already knew. 

Then Chaston came up to me and hugged me. He told me how much he appreciated me and all the things I do at school.   Later I talked to Thanh, who essentially told me the same thing.  This was the highlight of my night.  Forget that, the highlight of my week, month even. It is so nice to feel appreciated and cared about.  And it means so much more when it is completely random, and from people you don't expect to hear things like that from.  It couldn't have come at a better time. As you may know, recently I have been feeling unappreciated, sad, lonely and generally not good.  But this opened my eyes to how good the people in my class really are.

This has all made me realize, I can't kill off my social life to try to make good grades. Developing relationships with the people in my class (well people in general) is essential to living a fulfilled life.  I can't put 100% of my focus into making straight A's because I am jeopardizing experiences I may have to interact with some really awesome people.  That being said, I will try harder to come out more often and hang out with you guys.  Thanks for all the invites I didn't take you up on, and thank you for the future invites I WILL be there for.

Thanks Chaston, Thanh, William, Andrea, and everyone else for a wonderful night and making me feel important.




In completely unrelated news:
the guy who called me a whore for having my profile picture feature a (black) guy, started texting me again today and had the audacity to ask me to send him a picture.  I literally can not believe that he would even begin to think that I would EVER want to speak to him.  He must think I am some kind of desperate, which I assure you I am not. I am amazed at people sometimes.